Texas Toasts

Did this just blow your mind?

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Good.  I know real Texas Toast is only available in a plastic bag and is probably made of sawdust, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t the perfect ingredient for grilled cheese, french toast, or…well…anything that needs bread.  I did a quick Wikipedia search, though, and found that traditionally, a” “Texas Toast” really is is thick slices of white bread slathered in garlic butter and grilled.  Um, ok.  I can do that.

Texas Toasts
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Serves: 4
 
Ingredients
  • 1 loaf TGIPaleo Bread 2.0 (http://www.tgipaleo.com/2013/01/27/tgipaleo-bread-2-0/)
  • ½ c Butter
  • 4 cloves Garlic, minced
  • ½ t Onion Powder
  • ½ t Dried Chives
  • Oil, for frying/grilling
Instructions
  1. Cut the loaf into thick slices, about 1-1.5 inches.
  2. Melt the butter in a microwave safe bowl and stir in the garlic, onion powder, and chives. Allow to sit for 5-10 minutes.
  3. While the butter is infusing, heat some oil in a grill pan over medium-high heat.
  4. Brush the bread slices with the garlic butter and grill about 2-3 minutes on each side, until nice and crispy and brown.
  5. Serve with soup, salad, runny eggs, or whatever you so desire!

 

3-Minute Protein Snickerdoodle Cupcake

I hate that bit of conventional dieting wisdom that says you should “go to bed hungry.”  Look, if I’m hungry, then as far as I’m concerned, relaxing enough to get to sleep is the last thing I’m going to be able to do–when I’m hungry, my eyes glaze over and I want to kill everyone and everything withing reach.  So, yeah, Bob Harper?  Go to bed hungry?  Not on your life.

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Getting back into the “competitive” routine, though, means that once again I’m eating more frequent and smaller meals.  During the day this is great, since I’m always full and my workouts are better, I’m more awake, yadda yadda.  But around bedtime?  The 3-4 ounces of protein at Meal 5, aka “Dinner” is all gone and my tummy is rumbling.  Last week I made a quick habit of these (Vanilla Maple?  F**K YES!)…buuuuuut even I can’t delude myself into thinking that this is a sustainable addiction.  Maybe just every other day…?

These muffins, besides being super convenient as a single-serve recipe deal, are super filling (thanks to the coconut flour!) and HUGE.  Honestly, half with a schmear of almond butter is enough.  Well, it should be, but I eat with my eyes, so I need the whole thing.  But it fills me up without making me feel like I ate a brick the next morning.  If you wanna get meathead-y like me, you can also take note of the protein content…perfect for overnight recovery!  Add into the mix a very high fiber source of carbs and healthy monounsaturated fat from all that coconut.  What’s not to like?

3-Minute Protein Snickerdoodle Cupcake
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Prep time: 
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Serves: 1
 
Ingredients
  • 2T coconut flour
  • 3T vanilla protein powder (I used whey)
  • ½ t baking soda
  • 1 t cinnamon
  • 2 egg whites
  • ½ t lemon juice
  • 3T unsweetened applesauce
  • ½ t vanilla extract
Instructions
  1. Rub the inside of a coffee mug with a little coconut oil (to prevent sticking)
  2. Place all of the dry ingredients in a bowl and whisk them together.
  3. Add the wet ingredients and mix until there are NO LUMPS.
  4. Spoon the batter into the coffee mug.
  5. Pop the mug into the microwave on HIGH for 90 seconds.
  6. Rotate the mug and nuke for another 90 seconds.
  7. Depending on the individual settings of your microwave, this might take a little longer or shorter. Check the done-ness with a toothpick.
  8. When baked through, let the cake cool for a minute or two, then gently remove from the mug by loosening the edges with a knife and inverting on a plate.
  9. Enjoy with a hot cup of decaf!

Lavender Earl Grey Muffins

earl grey muffins

Aren’t these just so gosh darned CUTE?  I feel like Lady Mary Crawley at tea time…which is sooooooo much better than sending your resume to a bajillion places and being reminded over and over and over again how much you suck at life.  I mean…look, my dream since I was like, 10, has been to go to culinary school.  For real.  Or at least in between bouts of wanting to be an astronaut or a professional bodybuilder.  I floated the idea again to my friend the other day, and out of the goodness of her heart, she reminded me that I’d probably only be a second rate chef.  And as much as I was suddenly overcome with a desire to kick her in the teeth (I’m so sweet), it’s probably true.  I don;t like staying up past 8pm on weekdays, I don’t much care for being told how to make…well, ANYTHING, and I had enough of being yelled all the time in basic training.  Guess it’s time to give Space Camp another shot.

4.0 from 1 reviews

Lavender Earl Grey Muffins
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 8
 
Ingredients
  • ½ c Coconut Flour
  • 6 Eggs
  • 1 t Baking Soda
  • ½ c Honey
  • ½ c Butter or Coconut Oil, Melted
  • 3 Earl Grey Tea Bags
  • 1 t Dried Lavender
Instructions
  1. Cut open the tea bags and empty the contents into a bowl.
  2. Add all other ingredients and mix until smooth.
  3. Spoon into greased muffin cups.
  4. Bake at 325 degrees for 25-30 minutes.

 

(TGI)Paleo Bread 2.0

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There’s something about the ease and convenience of just throwing some meat on bread for a quick lunch (or with eggs for breakfast in the car), but I think we all know that Paleo breads–especially those with the fortitude to support meat and condiments–are a tough nut to crack.  A while back I checked into Paleo Bread, which is fine but frankly I’ve had 2 episodes of moldy bread coming in the mail and the fact that there’s been some controversy surrounding the company and its products has me wary (it also contains psyllium, which can be problematic for some).  Look, just like anything else, the best thing to do is just to make the damn stuff yourself.  And I did, and I was satisfied for the time being.

Then I made this stuff…and completely by accident it had the PERFECT texture for a sandwich bread.  So I tweaked it a bit (i.e. made it less pumpkin-y and cinnamon-y) and came up with easily the most perfect Paleo bread I’ve ever had.  Hands down.  There are waaaaaaay too many Paleo breads out there that are crumbly and cake-y, not to mention that are mostly nut-based (and we all know nut-based baked goods aren’t all that great for you)…this one is light, porous (critical in the buttering of toast), and really high in protein.  It doesn’t overwhelm the deliciousness spread on top of sandwiched within.  It bends, it twists…yeah, you get it.

4.0 from 7 reviews

(TGI)Paleo Bread 2.0
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Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12
 
Ingredients
  • ½ c + 1 T Coconut Flour
  • 1 t Baking Soda
  • 1 c Egg White Protein Powder
  • 1½ c Liquid Egg Whites
  • 1 c Unsweetened Applesauce
Instructions
  1. Combine all ingredients beating with an electric mixer for 4-5 minutes. Like, really whip it good–you want to get a lot of fluff out of the egg whites.
  2. Pour batter into a greased loaf pan.
  3. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

**A note on the egg white protein–I use NOW Foods pure egg white protein powder, available in health food stores or on Amazon.

Carmelized Plantain Pumpkin Bars

Remember when I tried to make these a while back and they were…um…green?  Well, after a little more trial and error I firgured I’d re-vamp the recipe completely.  And by “completely,” I mean just steal an idea from Cat’s delicious Carmelised Plantain Bread.

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I love–LOVE–fried plantains, so why not toss them into my pumpkin bars?  The carmel-y, toffee-y flavors meld sooooooo well with pumpkin.  I mean, EVERYTHING goes well with pumpkin, but it’s a little extra special here.  It’s perfect with butter and a smattering of honey and steaming cup of coffee (what isn’t?!) and has saved my ass this week since I’ve fallen victim to a stream of early meetings that require me to have my breakfast in the car…I’m such a public health risk.  If you happen to see someone swerving like a maniac down I-25, it’s probably just me trying to keep all that warm, drippy honey off myself.  And failing.  Whatever.

Carmelized Plantain Pumpkin Bars
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Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 8
 
Ingredients
  • ½ c Coconut Flour
  • ½ c Flax Meal
  • 1 Plantain, peeled and sliced
  • ¼ c Butter
  • ¼ c Full Fat Coconut Milk
  • 6 Eggs
  • 1 t Baking Soda
  • 1 c Pumpkin Puree
  • ¼ c Maple Syrup
  • 1 t Vanilla
Instructions
  1. Over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the plantain slices and about a Tablespoon of the maple syrup.
  2. Allow the slices to brown on one side, then flip. Swash the butter around to make sure all slices are coated.
  3. When they’re nice and fragrant and soft (I like ‘em almost mushy…brings out the flavor!), remove from heat and add the ¼ c of coconut milk.
  4. Stir it all around and add to a food processor.
  5. Pulse until you have a nice mashed consistency—not quite a puree. Lumps are good!
  6. Combine the remaining ingredients into a thick batter, then add the plantain mixture.
  7. Spread into an 8×8 inch pan and bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes, or until a knife inserted comes out clean.

 

PWO Protein Bread

I’m such a meathead. It’s kinda ridiculous.

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If it’s not evident enough already, I’ve been on a quest for the perfect PWO fuel for a while now. Obviously, the best thing would be a big plate of salmon and sweet potato, but um…I have a day job and get my workouts in over my lunch break. I’ve even tried the PWO fast, but I’ve found that at least a little something in that anabolic window makes all the difference. I need something portable as well as packed with protein and starch.

Well, I made a “protein bar” of sorts a while back but got lambasted for it. I probably deserved it…while a nice pick-me-up, the protein content was low and wasn’t ideal. A couple hard-boiled eggs would have sufficed instead. Since then, I’ve been trying all kinds of other stuff with the most successful being Simply Pure Nutrients Pro3 Synergy Fuel. I know, I know…it’s a whey protein. But I don’t have any adverse reactions to it and it’s super portable…toss a scoop into a shaker bottle and go! Recently, I picked up some egg white protein from NOW Foods–100% Paleo and safe on the 21DSD. Buuuuuuuut I’ll be honest, something about gelatinous egg-white-y goop in my shaker bottle doesn’t do it for me. I’m no Rocky Balboa.

So I did what I do best…I baked into something! It’s nice to just be able to cut off a slice of bread and toss it into a baggie to take with me. You can make muffins, too! Too easy. What’s more, there’s a TON of protein in this stuff. I ran the nutrition stats and in 1/8 of this recipe, you get a whopping 15 grams of protein and a nice dose of good starch to boot. You can use sweet potato or pumpkin, depending on tastes and availability (I’d do sweet potato because it’ll give you an extra kick of dense carbohydrate…plus I think the flavor is generally richer than pumpkin in baked goods).

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Oh…and Like me on Facebook!  I have like 10 followers.  Let’s make my page…um…not tragic, shall we?

INGREDIENTS

1/2 c Coconut Flour

1 t Salt

1 t Baking Soda

2 t Cinnamon

1 c Egg White Protein Powder

1 1/2 c Liquid Egg Whites

1 T Vanilla

1 c Mashed Sweet Potato

INSTRUCTIONS

Combine all ingredients beating until smooth. Pour batter into a greased loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Avocado Bread

Sometimes, I just need a sandwich.  Or toast.  Or a sponge for my egg yolks.

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Bonus, too…this stuff is safe on the 21DSD.  If you’ve been following my little adventure in detoxing on Primal Competitor, you’ve already gotten a sneak peak.  You really can’t tell there’s avocado in it at all–it’s a nice, neutral flavor that suits all of your bread-y needs, while being low carb and high in healthy fats.  It’s got a firm texture that holds together in the toaster oven and soaks up butter, egg yolks, and mayo very nicely.  The next test?  Let’s see how well this stuff supports a burger…

INGREDIENTS

**Printable Recipe**

1/2 c Coconut Flour

1 t Salt

1 t Baking Soda

1/2 c Ground Flax

6 Eggs

1 c Avocado Puree (about 2 large avocados)

INSTRUCTIONS

Make sure your avocado puree is totally smooth…no lumps!

Combine the dry ingredients.  The add your eggs and avocado, beating until smooth.  Pour batter into a greased loaf pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 45-55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Cinnamon Tahini Bread

It’s official.  I’m in full-blown hibernation mode.  And that means baking.  LOTS of baking.

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It’s been a ridiculous couple of weeks, and when I get stressed out, I have a physical need for baked goods.  And butter.  (And bacon.)

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Remember back when I did my Vegan Week and made these muffins?  Well, here it is again…but you know…not Vegan and all.  In all it’s cinnamon-y, comfort-y glory.

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Yeah, I definitely like version one better.  You’re welcome.

INGREDIENTS

1/2 c Coconut Flour

1 t Salt

1 t Baking Soda

1 T Cinnamon

1/2 c Ground Flax

6 Eggs

1 T Vanilla

1/2 c Tahini

1/2 c Applesauce

3 T Maple Syrup

INSTRUCTIONS

Combine the dry ingredients.  Add the eggs, applesauce, syrup, and tahini, beating until well combined.  Pour batter into a greased loaf pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 40-50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Chock-Full-o-Fall Breakfast Bread

Listen, I know it’s been Christmas Season since, like, before Halloween, but there’s a week left of November so if I want a “Fall Recipe,” then dammit that’s what you get.

Before I get into the post, if you’ve never heard of a Buddha’s Hand, I really suggest you figure out where to find one.  This thing saved my ass this Thanksgiving.  I’d certainly never heard of them before a week ago when they showed up at my Whole Foods with a sign over them that read, “Most incredible citrus flavor EVER!  GREAT FOR ZESTING!!”  I was like, I like citrus!  So I bought one and zested it into whatever I could think of.  Holy crap, you guys….just…just go find one.  You’re welcome.

I originally called this “Thanksgiving Leftovers Coffee Cake,” because that’s really what it was.  I had done a HUGE batch of stuffing and had a bunch of random ingredients (apples, cranberries, the Buddha’s Hand…) that I, true to form, tried and failed to be creative with before I just said “to Hell with it” and baked them into a loaf of bread.

A blessing in disguise, too…I mean, I start my NEW JOB tomorrow–which happens to have an early start and longer commute, so a portable breakfast option totally saves some heartburn.

INGREDIENTS

1/2 c Coconut Flour

6 Eggs

1/2 c  Ground Flax

1 t Salt

1 t Baking Soda

1 c Acorn Squash Puree (or Pumpkin Puree, or 3 Mashed Bananas)

3 T Zested Buddha’s Hand

1 c Fresh Cranberries, coarslely chopped

2 small (or 1 large) Granny Smith Apples, diced fine

3 Stalks Celery, chopped

INSTRUCTIONS

Whisk the dry ingredients together.  Beat in the eggs and squash in a separate bowl or stand mixer.  Add the dry ingredients bit by but to the wet ingredients until well blended.  Fold in the zest and chopped fruits and celery.

Pour into a greased loaf pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 60-65 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Coconut Curry Banana Bread

So while I’m still on this bread kick

The other night I sent out a mass text imploring my family and friends to help me figure out something creative to do with the bunch of mushy bananas sitting on my kitchen counter.  I almost threw my phone into the wall when every single one of them came back with, “Banana Bread!”  I mean, no sh*t, you guys.  No help at all.  But I still love you.

To be fair, though, I do love me some banana bread.  I’m just trying to branch out…and after this act of genius, (and this one, too!) there’s really no going back.

I kinda went middle ground on the idea for this recipe but started adding some random stuff and before I knew it I had a batter chock full of spicy, sweet, fragrant goodies.  At the very least, the smell of this baby in the oven was worth it even if the bread itself had been terrible.  But Holy Crap, you guys.  I still can’t decide if it’s more sweet or savory, but who the hell cares?  Put some butter and honey on this biyatch and go to town!

INGREDIENTS

1/2 c Coconut Flour

1/2 c Ground Flax

1 t Salt

1 t Baking Soda

1 T Curry Powder

1 t Cumin

2 t Cinnamon

6 Eggs

4 Really Ripe Bananas

1/2 c Unsweetened Shredded Coconut

1/2 c Pine Nuts

INSTRUCTIONS

Whisk the dry ingredients together.  Mash the bananas and beat in the eggs.  Add the dry ingredients bit by but to the wet ingredients until well blended.  Fold in the coconut and pine nuts.  If you so desire, add 1/2 c Raisins as well…I reallyreallyreally wanted to but didn’t have any on hand.

Pour into a greased loaf pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Enjoy!